My Day As a High-End Call Girl

My Day as a High-End Call Girl 

 An Actor Prepares

I want to start off by saying that I did willingly submit for the part.

I’ve worked background on The Playboy Club, 90210, The Mindy Project, and have been submitting in NYC for over a year, searching for that sweet taxable actor income. I booked the role because the show needed Eastern-European looking women in their 20s which is not insulting. The fact that the show also needed me to provide my own High End Call Girl wardrobe …a little insulting. Also listed on the call sheet were Well-Heeled Johns and Mafia Members which conjured up images of dashing young investment bankers with platinum band watches. I was looking forward to work. 

The night before, I packed my nude heels, my only bearable shoes for 12-hours of standing. I pawed through my closet looking for sexy cocktail dresses, of which I have very few, due to my two-year romper binge. I tucked a few rompers in my bag just in case the costume designers were feeling nice. 

The morning of the shoot, I took an hour-plus for hair and makeup so I could arrive on- set “camera ready” as instructed.

When I entered the extras holding room, my dreams of handsome investment bankers were dashed. Well-Heeled John was apparently synonymous for Gray-Haired Man Over 50 In Rumpled Suit. 

I checked in with a PA and “high end call girls” were told to grab their clothes to show the costumers. They narrowed their eyes at my rompers and Doc Martens. “This scene is a cocktail party?” 

I wear rompers and Doc Martens to cocktail parties - but I was not dressing myself! I was dressing my Russian Hooker Counterpart, who I later named Oxanna ‘Scrappy’ Abromavich. And Oxanna was fated to wear my bright blue dress with black nylon stomach and long sleeves with nude heels. 

Yoga pants replaced with jewel-toned dresses, winter boots replaced with black heels, the High End Call Girls teetered back into the holding room. I tugged my dress down and didn’t make eye contact with the curious old men as I made my way to my seat. “It’s a job! It’s an acting job.” I reminded myself.

One of the ladies next to me, model-thin, with shiny brown hair, stunning in a small black dress, worked in an MCAT practice book. She chewed on the end of her pencil, wrote things, scratched things out. It made me giddy to watch. 

Once More Unto the Set

“Okay. So here’s the point of the scene.” After an hour and a half of sitting around, the PA was welcome structure. “We’re at a very classy brothel. Women - you are selling yourselves to the men - but in a classy way! Men, you are buying the women but also…in a classy way! Got it? Great. Selling selves. Buying people. Classy. Okay! Let’s all stand up, and head downstairs, and the ladies and gentlemen, why don’t you start pairing yourselves up?” 

The entire room of extras came to the same realization in a single moment—to pair ourselves up would be to suggest an actual High End Call Girl and Well-Heeled John pairing. The older gentleman actor would be suggesting to the younger lady actress “You are the kind of girl I would pick to pay to have sex with.” And the younger lady actress would be suggesting to the old gentleman actor “If I was a Russian lady who had to sleep with someone thirty years older than me to pay the bills, I would feel least depressed about having to sleep with you.” 

So instead of pairing ourselves up, we repelled each other like pre-teens at a junior high dance. We stood in two single file lines down the entire staircase and hallway. 

At the other end of the hall, grips opened the door to a three-minute blast of January air. 

The women shivered in their cocktail dresses, and the men offered up their coats, each braving the gender divide with his own line

        “Hey! Who says chivalry is dead, huh?” 

“Hey, beautiful, you want a coat?” 

                “Take it, please, my mother would kill me!”

 All but one or two women refused.

No one offered me a coat because in my search for warmth I had discovered a small broom closet and was hiding in it. (This is where the “Scrappy” comes from in Oxanna “Scrappy” Abromavich.) I watched the chivalry from behind a thin brown curtain and wondered why we were opting to stay cold. If we had been background actors as father/daughters in a post-college graduation reception party, we probably would have been ripping the coats off their shoulders. But in this context, it felt a little too much like being a not-so-well-off scantily-clad High End Call Girl accepting a present from a Well-Heeled John.  

Heeeeere's Quentin! 

Quentin Tarantino on writing and them filming Django Unchained:

It’s one thing to write ‘Exterior: Greenville where the slave auction town was. One hundred slaves walk through this deep shit mud, being moved along, wearing masks and metal collars. And this whole town built over this like…. black Auschwitz’ It’s one thing to write that. It’s another thing to get a hundred black folks, put them in chains, and march them through the mud.

It’s one thing to write about call girls selling themselves to older men, it’s another thing to actually film it. Because as soon as you walk on set the line between acting and being blurs instantaneously. 

Am I an actress or a high end call girl when the director yells “ACTION!” and I whisper something into my Well-Heeled Johns’ ear and fix his tie and he pulls me off to some other corner of the bar?

And are the men acting or Well-Heeled Johning when, in between takes, leaning their elbows on bars, swirling drinks in their hands, chat us up, ask to be friends on Facebook, or for our numbers? 

When the men lean next to each other on the wall, nudge each other and say  “Hey! Not such a bad day on set, huh Paul?” “No, sir. Not a bad day at all.”

When I’m standing next to Old Man A and Old Man B comes up to to A and says “Well, you just picked the most beautiful one in the room, didn’t you?” 

How many times did that sentence get said in a 12-hour day on set?  And how many times would it get said in a real High End Brothel? 

It’s the cycle of cinema: a writer perceives a truth in the world: there are places where young women sell themselves to old men, classily. This perception wriggles its way into the script. A massive team of people spend hours bringing the perception to life, decorating it, lighting it, filling it with old men and young women. And watching from your couch, the perception becomes truth again: look at that, I’m seeing a place in the world where young women sell themselves to old men, classily. And then you can write your own television script where young women sell themselves to old men, classily. Or if you’re lucky enough, you can be an extra on a television show where women are selling themselves to you, and look! Your day looks just like those places you saw on T.V. where women sell themselves to man, classily. 

What gets written and produced is not just reflecting on what society is, but reimagining and reinforcing it with every single Call Girl and Mammy and Drug Lord. And the messages are reinforced all the way from the stars to those of us in the background.

Because the line is blurry back here, away from the camera’s focus. Back here, I’m trying to get Sean, a particularly awkward extra, to stop looking at me. To stop following me, and other women, to stop asking for every single girl’s number, miming calling us on the phone during takes. I turn my back to him enough times that at one point he says, “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid,” I say. “I’m angry.”

Before Sean can respond, the A.D. calls for quiet on set. I grab my Well-Heeled John’s arm, and when I hear “ACTION,” lean in to him, laughing. 

My 2015 in Top 9 Sexist Moments

9. Grocery Store

The man behind me in Trader Joe’s line asked if I wanted a plastic bags for the apples rolling around in my cart. I said “No, thanks! I’m good.” Five seconds later he taps me on the back and hands me a fistful of bags. 

It's number 9 because it's a microaggression y'all. The next 8 are mainly just aggressions. 

8. Hair Salon

              30 minutes of make-up putting-on, $15 eyebrow threading, and $50 for a haircut/blowout before I auditioned for a TV show. None of this time was spent practicing the scene. 

7. The Gym I Work At

             There are nine 21+ year old women who work at at the day care in the gym. In emails we are often referred to as “the girls.” Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it’s probably a contributing factor to why the women watching over members’ children get paid less than the people working at the front desk. 

6. Agent Meeting

             When presented with my new headshot an agent informed me I looked like a “vampire cuntress.” 

5. NYC Bar  

            A drunk college guy yelled “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” as I walked past him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a slow dance. I talked to him for a minute, asked if where he went to school, and then attempted my usual methods of escape. “I’m going to go meet up with my friend.” When that didn’t work, I used the ever-helpful, “I have a boyfriend,” He asked if my boyfriend was there. When I said “No,” he said, “Then it doesn’t matter if I kiss you.” I got more aggressive and wiggled out of his hold. 

            Real patriotic, West Point guy. 

4. Audition

           I walk into an audition in heels and short shorts to play a 17-year old cheerleader having an affair with a 55+ year old man in an unpaid web series*. There was one awkward camera guy in his 30’s and two overweight men in their 50’s running the audition. It turned out that one of the 50+ guys, besides being the producer, writer, casting director, and director was also the actor playing the man my character was having an affair with.

           We read our horrible trite make-out scene on camera twice. I did my best impersonation of Megan Fox impersonating a human. The man gave me no notes because I had “good instincts.” 

Two days later, he called me on the phone to offer me the part. 

*I knew I was auditioning for a girl having an affair, but not that it was unpaid, or that her scene was making out with the the guy in the back of the car. 

3. After the Play I Performed In 

             The guy playing my brother in the show came up to me said, “Hey, doll, come here.” He grabbed me and started to slow dance with me. Then he pointed at my boobs in my sundress and said “What are you going to do with those?” He pointed at his friend behind him. “He wants your number.” When I told him I wouldn’t give him my number because I have a boyfriend, he turned to his friend and said “Oh. She’s spoken for.” 

2. A Multigenerational Holiday Party  

             After explaining the ups and downs of freelancing acting/writing/Equalitoys to an older gentlemen, he said "That’s alright! It’s hard to get a job with a liberal arts degree isn’t it? But you’re a beautiful young girl, I’m sure you can just go and find yourself a rich boyfriend!” 

1. After The Play I Performed In 

           A guy friend of another actor tried to compliment me after the show: “You know when I saw you on stage I thought…no way. She’s too beautiful to have a mental illness.” 

Does a man who understands so little about mental illness and women make you feel so helpless that you don't know how to proceed? Me too! So let's move into the happy, feminist-affirming side of the year. 

My 2015 in Top 9 Feminist Moments

9. On the Phone

I turned down the role of the 17-year-old-cheerleader having an affair with a 55+ year old man in an unpaid web series 

8. Walking from Bar to Bar in NYC

Being catcalled with Rachel and Maria, then yelling back “This is not for you!”

7. My Apartment  

         Helping two different friends prepare for Fun Home auditions, and getting to read a Joan/Allison scene with each of them. It reminded me how insanely talented my friends are, and how amazing it is that a Tony-awarding winning lesbian coming-of-age story is on Broadway.  

6. Walking Home After an Eyebrow Threading

       A man crossed 10th Avenue in front of me and did a single, double, then triple-take at my face. I figured it was because my face was puffy from just having hair ripped out of my skull. Finally he stopped, then sputtered, “Hey…um, sorry. Um…you…you’re really beautiful.” 

         “Oh! Thanks!” I said.

          The man nodded, turned around, and kept walking. 

        This incident made it to my inspiring feminist moments list because it pisses me off that some anti anti-street harassment people believe women can’t take compliments. For 2016, let’s trust that women know the difference between being harassed and being (albeit oddly) complimented. 

5. Playwrights Horizon Craft Fair

        Seeing non-white people read my feminist coloring book Her Highness Builds Robots for the first time. These same people collectively bought 60 books in 5 hours. 

4. UCB 412 Class 

        The class was 14 guys and 1 other lady, but neither of us was ever stuck playing the whore a single time. 

3. BMI Holiday Party 

        I told a more-established, BMI lady lyricist that I felt self-conscious about networking because I thought my mascara & romper-wearing vibe would cause people to not take me seriously as a writer. The BMI lady lyricist offered to introduce to everyone she knew and chat with them side by side. 

2. On a Walk with a Friend

         Near the beginning of the walk, I told him my Trader Joe's microaggression story to explain to him what a microaggression was. An hour later he called himself a “pussy” for wearing a coat while I wasn’t wearing one, then without me saying anything, he expressed regret at using the word and called himself a “wimp.” 

1. Almost Back to the Apartment, NYC

         As we passed by some cigarette-smoking bar-dwellers, one of the guys started chatting us up and following us down the block. Maria yelled at him to stop. The man said, “Oh. Am I being that creepy guy who follows girls?” He turned around and went back to a bar.

This is my Number 1 moment because creepy bar man FIGURED IT OUT, he REALIZED HE WAS BEING CREEPY and then he STOPPED.  Awareness is the first step, right? And if creepy bar man figured it out, I know a lot of other men and women will too. 

Here's to an empowering 2016! 

Feminist Troll #2

This Month in Feminist Troll Submissions 

August 7th-August 31st

All of these printed responses have actually been submitted to these actual breakdowns. (Along with a HS/resume/reel) I will keep you updated if I ever receive feedback, or get a callback. Because I am dying to be a Live Feminist Troll. #fingerscrossed

1.

Laura Winters, 23, White. I am definitely a "good girl." Heck, I don't even need the quotes! I am just a GOOD GIRL through and through. I don't cheat, smoke, and I don't drink, unless a glass of white wine with my ladies counts (Guilty!) Do all men cheat? Does the sun rise in the morning? Does the moon pull in the tide? Do pigs get slaughtered for bacon? yes Yes YEs YES! Stripping respectable? Um, heck no. That is like somebody's DAUGHTER on the pole. Daughters should be cherished not naked.

2.

Hello! If you are looking for an actress with the IT factor you have found her. I have IT. Undeniably. Whatever IT is. I have IT. I'm beautiful but I'm also a heartbreaker - that's where the cold comes in. My RBF is pretty much unchallenged. When I charge through the streets of Manhattan, catcallers who are first enticed by my beauty - they see my RBF and are shocked into silence by my coldness. I also once dated a Michael and have experience both acting and being a Michael's girlfriend.
Best!

3.

Female Lead Role (18-25) lead role of the girl who empathizes with the main character -an idealistic young man who embarks on a mission to bring the world to an end. The girl empathizes with the main character and follows him. Any level of English proficiency is accepted. Note: If selected you will need to live in character for a period of time before filming. 

Behind every apocalyptic man is an empathetic woman To empathize? To follow? These are the desires of my female heart. With its every beat I search for the man whose goals will supersede my own. It will be his vision of the world - o! That glittering oyster of perfection and chaos! - to which I will bow and willfully accept. For his eyes will see what I cannot. His hands will build what I do not dare. His words will change what I cannot alter. A requirement to live as this character?
          I already do.

4.

I am comfortable with on screen kissing. I should be cast in this role because I am a woman who speaks volumes with my "facial expression, body language, and eyes." Often, my boyfriend and I don't even need to say anything, we just stare at each other across a dimly-lit restaurant table, and I know exactly what he's thinking (and exactly what he's going to order). Often, he can even order FOR me based on how I move my shoulders.

But, just to be clear, I can also communicate with my body in brightly-lit scenarios, such as a park - like the park Sarah will be walking through playfully and romantically. The light in the park will probably help accentuate my strong eyes.

I have a B.A. in theatre from Northwestern University.

I look forward to hearing from you!
Laura

5.

[Sexy Vixen]

mid 20's Hottie with a body. A head turner that all men n notice walk into a room. NO LINES. But will be featured heavily and receive IMDB credit. 

Good afternoon!
Although I understand the role of "Sexy Vixen" is non-speaking, I just wanted to briefly outline some of my qualifications, just so you can get to know this potential Vixen better!

I graduated cum laude from Northwestern University with a B.A. in theatre and writing. While at Northwestern University I was cast as the lead actress in the school's first feature film (Rush) and sitcom (Sidekicked). Additionally, I was the lead of several productions: Diana (Next to Normal), Trina (Falsettos), Annette (God of Carnage). As the head writer of the 2014 Waa-Mu show I had the rare opportunity to play a character of my own creation: Pat Patterson (Double Feature).

In 2010 I was named the Illinois High School Association's State Champion of Dramatic Interpretation, after performing an 8-minute monologue from the perspective of a sexually abused drug addict.

Your breakdown specifically calls for actors with strong improvisational skills, and again, while "Sexy Vixen" currently probably doesn't need to improv with anything but her body, I thought I would share my speaking-focused improv credentials in case the role changes at all!

I recently finished the core 101-401 levels at UCB. I also completed improv levels 1-5A at iO Chicago. I am the co-creator of "Just Us" a  wholly improvised YouTube web series about love in the digital age. I am currently a featured actress in Disrupt, a sketch comedy group that parodies Ted Talks and other tech conferences.

I have worked background on The Mindy Project, The Playboy Club and 90210.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
Laura

Million Dollar Southpaw

I saw Southpaw last week. I can't say I'm proud. But I was with a group and it happened.
Afterwards, I wanted to compare Hollywood's treatment of female versus male boxing protagonists, AKA Million Dollar Baby.

It's not a perfect match up. MDB is pumped full of excellent cinematic storytelling and Acadamey Award Cred whereas Southpaw is a generic piece of trash. Also, Clint Eastwood is actually the protagonist of MDB. However, because of Boxing Movie Tropes there is a lot to compare.

The Differences

The Training Montage Music communicates the biggest difference in how the filmmakers saw Billy Hope and Maggie Fitzgerald.



Billy Hope trains to retrieve his daughter from social services and to avenge his wife's murder. And all those emotions get channeled into epic feats of personal strength, mirrored by epic angry word play in rap. (the credit song is Eminem's epic  Kings Never Die, sampled in the training montage)

Maggie Fitzgerald is training to be a better version of herself! So she improves her punches and her footwork to the SHOCKING sound of....acoustic guitar, Morgan Freeman's narration gliding over the top. The music feels like a gentle nod to Maggie's hopes of a better future outside of her restaurant, the quiet power of a little lady trying to reach her small goal.

Maggie's is easily one of the strangest training montages I have ever seen, and I can't decide if she got the acoustic treatment because she's a woman, because this is one of a few boxing movies that is actually about more than boxing so we don't need Maggie to be just a ripped, angry bad ass, or if Eastwood was trying to purposefully subvert the training montage.

But the montages point out another key difference in these movies - Billy is fighting for family and Maggie is fighting for herself. A movie about a single, childless lady who is focused on something other than getting a husband/children! Feminist victory. 

There aren't a lot of ladies in either film, but the few who exist are treated with respect. Billy's wife is his true love, his intelligent, resilient sounding board - wearing really hot cocktail dresses and bathing suits, but a believable character over all. His daughter, brainy and pissed off, is his biggest achievement. There's also a nurse, and an uncompromising social worker.

Maggie has a nasty and ungrateful mother and sister, and the Blue Bear - a formidable female opponent - but other than these ladies, the boxing world is a slew of suited white men, chain-wearing black men, and of course many other male boxers (most black).

I can't remember the ratios, but they are EASILY 1:3 women to men speaking roles. In fact the ratio is probably closer to 1:5 or 1:6.

The Similarities 

Plot Points that are identical:
Billy & Maggie come from backgrounds of no means, an orphanage and a trailer park respectively
Billy & Maggie work out at crappy, underdog gyms
Billy & Maggie beg reluctant old man coaches to train them
Billy & Maggie are DOWN ON THEIR LUCK
Billy & Maggie rise to the top of the boxing world
Billy & Maggie have no other potential job but boxing
Billy & Maggie face unbeatable opponents

and my personal favorite....

The moment where all the gym is dark but some moonlight catching on the side of a bag.
Bent over his mop, the late night janitor hears the unmistakable sound of punches and grunts. But...who could be up this late? Who in their right mind would train in the dark after every other boxer has unwrapped their gloves and called it quits? The janitor turns the corner and sees...

       Billy & Maggie. That's who.

(Stepping outside of the Feminist Box for a second....I was surprised by the similarities between Morgan Freeman and Forest Whitaker's characters. In Southpaw Forest Whitaker teaches the Billy the secret to good boxing, and shows off his bum eye from boxing. In MDB Morgan Freeman teaches Maggie the secret to good boxing, and shows off his BUM EYE FROM BOXING. )

The ultimate rip off or the ultimate tribute?

My favorite part of Million Dollar Baby was the treatment of strength in the female body.
In the beginning, a few characters, some other boxers and Clint Eastwood, question if being a woman and a boxer go together. Twenty minutes in, the questions are dropped because with Maggie's knockout success, they clearly do.

As Maggie works her way through opponent after opponent, there is really no further mention made to the fact that this is woman's boxing. We're not less worried for her safety because she's fighting ladies. We're not less impressed by her strength and commitment because she's a lady. We're not led to feel like this world is inferior to the male boxing world, that the stakes are lower, although her matches are obviously smaller and less well-attended and always ruled by male coaches, trainers, managers, and refs.

I cannot think of another commercial movie in which women are punching women for non-sexualized glory. Usually, the stars of these movies are wrapped in leather, guns tucked into garters, knives pulled from cleavage, heels used like daggers, frat boys chanting on their encouragement.

Additionally, MDB has no bullshit moment where Maggie gets dressed up for a gala and between the dress, and the undo and the earrings and the make-up Clint Eastwood finally has a window into what an incredible lady she really is. Maggie proves her worth as a human and a fighter in the ring: muscles flexing, dressed to move, gloves on, hair pulled taught from her face, ready to attack.

But both films left me wondering. What drives audiences to boxing movies? Why do I like them?
 I can't even watch the fights in the films because the brutal sounds and blood overwhelm me, force me to look away. But even as I wince and writhe in my seat, I really really want my hero to win.

I think we like them because they are the other side of the Superhero coin. How far would Bruce Wayne have gotten without a billion dollars?  Clark Kent without an extraterrestrial boost? Tony Stark without a genius-level IQ and a billion dollars?  Billy and Maggie rise out of nothing, an orphanage, a trailer park. And with nothing but guts and their fists, they step into the ring to fight for their right to exist.

Southpaw just isn't adding anything new to the well-established tropes of boxing movies. His character is predictable, underwritten and hyper-masculine even as he sobs as he tries (and fails) to shoot himself after his wife dies.  Southpaw would have undoubtably been a better movie if the writers/directors had treated Billy less like a piece of 8-abs  meat and more like a real person, more like a human with complicated human who is trying to better his station through violent yet accepted means more like...Maggie in Million Dollar Baby.

Writers of a male protagonist who have to take a lesson in humanization from writers of a female protagonist?  MDB wins with a solid first round knockout.

I Have Become a Feminist Breakdown Troll

After months of applying for plays/movies/tvshows/music videos online, and months of trying to avoid breakdowns that are so sexist it makes me want to rip out all my hair, I decided that the best way to respond is to become a Feminist Breakdown Troll. 

I will keep you posted if any of these people respond, and if I I happen to #BookIt

Blonde Voluptuous Las Vegas Stripper: (Lead) a beautiful voluptuous stripper dating a famous singer; she wants love, he wants fame, they've been together for a long time and she's was there in the beginning of his career; while living his celebrity life, he gets tired of her complaining and kicks her out into the cold rainy night; blonde Hair, great body, stripping experience not necessary but must understand the look and attitude; sassy & classy with a warm heart that seeks normalcy; full C minimum bust; D or DD preferable.

Hello!
My name is Laura Winters and I am a non-equity actress living in NYC. This seems like such an exciting idea for a screenplay- I have not seen many movies with strippers as main characters! I love that she also seems to be the kind of stripper with a heart of gold :-) (Does she have a name by the way? It looks like she is the lead of the movie, and I was wondering if she had a name besides Voluptuous Blonde Stripper with DDs! JW!)
Looking forward to hearing from you-
Best,
Laura


Mariane: (Lead) the prototypical wide eyed virgin daughter with a secret sultry/rebellious side only seen by her true love Valère until she is forced to use her feminine wiles to escape marriage to the lecherous and repellent Tartuffe; strong movement skills, some familiarity with the French language, and understanding with Burlesque performance preferred; strong comedic timing and command of classical language is a must. Nudity: YES.

Hello! This is one of my absolute favorite plays, and I'm thrilled that you're putting on a burlesque-esque production of it. When I ask people to describe me, half of them definitely call me virginal, and the other half definitely call me sultry (which side is the real me? Or are they both? ha). I also noticed that nudity is a "yes" in this version of the show. #amazing! I'm so excited to see how nudity will improve Tartuffe.
I speak no French, but would obviously love to learn.
Laura

3 Female Vampires Needed: (Lead) Very attractive, model type. Seduction is a big part of luring their victims. These vampires are women of few words. There looks do the talking.

Hi! I'm Laura, a non-union actor. In the year I've lived year, I have let my looks do all the talking (and it's worked :-)). I love that your project understands how women look most attractive in threes. If you cast me, you could also cast a sexy Black vampire as well as an Asian vampire? Just so there's something for everybody!  I look forward to hearing from you!
Laura
PS sry if this is annoying but it's "their looks do the talking." not "there looks do the talking!" lol spelling vampress!

Our Champion Inside (Out) of Pixar

         

Fix-it Fridays

Inside Out

       After seeing Inside Out, I am confident that Pixar has amongst its employees The Champion. For 29 years of working at Pixar, The Champion has silently resented the company's proclivity toward sexism. Each time the Champion walks through the gilded hall of framed movie posters, The Champion cringes at the male clusters of monsters, toys, rats, cars, and fish, each photo dotted with one or two heavily-eyelashed female characters.  The night Brave premiered, The Champion returned to The Champion's desk, banged fists on the desk, and cried out "Why?! Why did our first female protagonist have to be a princess?!"
            And when the tears subsided, The Champion reached for a sketchpad and started drawing Inside Out, the feminist film Pixar owed the world.
           This movie has not one, not two, but three female leads. Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith) and the 11-year old girl whose mind they inhabit, Riley (Kaitlyn Dias).

        Out of the five emotions that work in Riley's mind, three of them are ladies. (Disgust voiced by Mindy Kaling.) Between our main characters, Riley, her mom, her dad, Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Fear, Anger, and Bing Bong (Riley's imaginary friend), and then a few side characters, Riley's teacher, both a guy and a girl maintenance crew workers, an imaginary boyfriend, Riley's best friend, the female movie director, our male to female ratio is: 6:9.

So break out your copies of The Handmaiden's Tale, play Hilary's Spotify Playlist, and put your American Girl Dolls in their horseback riding outfits because Inside Out is....

Pixar's First Movie with a Female Majority!

We give thanks for The Champion's efforts. 

The story is set in motion when Riley's family moves from Minnesota to San Fransisco, forcing Riley, and her Emotions to handled unchartered territory.  Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Carly, her mother, they all have unique voice, personalities, desires, and issues.  Joy is a spunky problem-solver,  Leslie Knope in fairy-form. She works tirelessly to make every day of Riley's life more Joyful than the other four emotions. She is a "Life Force" sort of role (see Jurassic World) that is so rarely gifted to girls. She moves mountain and earth, leads with ease and flair, but is fallible.

And if the Emotions are fallible, so too is Riley. She talks back to her parents, hangs up on her best friend, and storms off the ice rink in anger.

Before writing this piece, I read a few blogs where people worried that girl protagonist + emotions = period and mood swings. But Inside Out is not about girls and their flighty, uncontrollable feelings. It's about a kid (who like half of all kids is a girl) who can't figure out quite how her old life fits into her new one. 

There are only three disappointing moments of Non- Pure Feminist Awesomeness in Inside Out and one of them happened before the feature film started. 

1. The homogenous faces. A month or so ago, the blogosphere blew up when someone pointed out that every female Pixar character has the same face: round with a little button-nose. Compare that look to the male characters, whose great variety of noses, chins and foreheads reflect the inherent understanding that men can have a variety of problems, desires, and personality types.

These drawings show off Pixar's "women are all really the same" attitude that kept them creating token-lady-in-the-guy-group problem for 20+ years. Since my attention had been drawn to this problem before the movie, it was pretty infuriating to see in action. Joy, Sadness, and Disgust are written with such uniqueness why would their faces look identical? 

2. In one scene of Inside Out, we see the inside of Riley's parents' heads as well, the scene relies on archaic parent stereotypes for comedy's sake. While Mom tries to get Dad's help in communicating with Riley, Dad is too busy watching replay of sports games in his mind, forcing Mom to resort to dreaming about a man of her past. It didn't piss me off too much because Lame Parenting Tropes are cranked up to 11 for both genders. 

3. I can feel the eye rolls a-comin', but people, the Pixar short was super sexistly drawn. It's about *spoiler alert* volcanos trying to find love, you know, as they do. And you can see from the drawings that while the male volcano gets to look like a volcano, huge, hulking, craggle-faced, the lady volcano is a skinny, long-haired, smooth-faced lady.

But that's it people! Other than that, The Champion has done us a solid.
I could talk on and on about how much I loved Inside Out or how much I cried, or you could go see for yourself :-) 

           

What came first, the Heels or the Sexism?

Jurassic World

I was pumped to see Jurassic World. Because I love Jurassic Park, special effect monsters and:

But enough male objectification. I actually was pretty pleased in feminist terms while I watched the film--happy that Claire runs the park, that she has a lady assistant, that Claire had a sister and their conversation passed the Bechdel test, and that there were tons of close ups of little girls thrilled to be hanging out with stegosauruses. But when I got home the internet informed me that Jurassic World was really sexist.

The Great Heel Debate

The internet is up in arms about Claire's heels. The heels! How could a woman wear heels that whole time! Running for her life! Unleashing a T-Rex in heels! Nude heels! Heels in the jungle! Heels in the plains. Heels on slick cobblestone. What foolish heels!

I believe the heels are not so much a symbol for sexism as they represent a bunch of unfired Chekovian guns for Claire's character.

Anton Chekhov on writing:

"Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there."

The heels could have been engaged (or "fired") in a couple of ways. 

1. Owen asks Claire if she is really going to wear that outfit, the insensible heels.
...And then to prove that the heels aren't insensible, but helpful:
2. Claire stabs a raptor in the eye with a heel. Or a a bird grabs her by the shoe and by squirming out of the shoe she is able to escape.

OR

1. Owen asks Claire if she's really going to wear the heels. 
...And then to prove that Claire is growing and understanding the power of nature:
2. Claire takes the sneakers off a dead man's feet to replace her heels. Or Claire steals a pair of hilarious light-up dinosaur shoes from one of the wrecked clothing stands. Or while running, Claire takes a moment to kick off her shoes.

OR

1. Owen asks Claire if she's really going to wear the heels. 
...And then to prove that Owen loves Claire:
2. Claire puts on some sneakers, but at the end of the movie Owen gives her the heels back, having carried them secretly the whole film.

OR
1. Owen asks Claire if she is really going to wear the heels. 
...And To make an awesome reference to Jurassic Park:
2. Claire finds a '90s pair of gym shoes when they explore the old park.

OR
1. Owen asks Clarie if she is is really going to wear the heels. 
...And then to prove that women are helpless and stupid for trying to achieve fashion standards.
2. Claire breaks a heel while running and Owen has to pick her up and carry her.

But instead, the writers drew our attention to the heels, but never pulled the heel trigger. And while I rarely argue for meaninglessness of symbols in movies, sometimes a heel is just a heel. If the writers weren't actually trying to say anything, which I don't think they were, and she was just a woman wearing heels, you can argue they were sexist or feminist either way and be correct. 

Unfortunately, the heels weren't the only rifle left unfired. And if the writers had simply followed through on a few of the characteristics they had set up for Claire, she would have seemed less like a "stiff" (Joss Whedon's Twitter description of Claire). 

Claire brought an itinerary to her first date with Owen (before the movie takes place), and it's one of the reasons Owen makes fun of her. Why couldn't Claire later have a useful itinerary to taking down the Idominus Rex? Claire runs Jurassic World. Why couldn't her intimate knowledge of secret tunnels be the key to saving everyone in the park?

Life Force (LF) and the Stiff (S)

Months before the film's release, Joss Whedon took to Twitter with "She's a stiff. He's a life force-really?" And although JW intuited all of that from a Jurassic World clip the movie is full of evidence to prove his case. 


LF Owen has a natural connection to people and animals; he even helps ease a brachiosaurs's passing. 
S Claire can't remember her nephews' ages, isn't sure if she wants kids, and thinks in dollar signs.

LF With just his arms out and a stern look, Owen can control a group of dangerous, cunning, flesh-eating velociraptors.
S Claire fails to run the park with intelligence again and again by underestimating the danger into which Indominus Rex has placed the staff and guests.

LF Owen and his motorcycle are always ready to go off roads.
S She drives her nice car on nicely paved roads.

But being connected to nature and the animals from the start of the film means Owen doesn't learn anything by the time the credits roll.

Which means that Jurassic World is really Claire's story. A protagonist needs to change throughout a movie, to learn. Claire learns to shoot a gun in order to defend the people she loves. She faces death multiple times, even taunting it when she sets *spoiler alert* to lets the T-Rex out of its cage. 

However, I do have to disagree with the argument that Claire's emotional journey is that of a stereotypical "stiff" female. Her path, from not knowing her nephews to having a deep connection with Zach and Gray is an arc identical to Dr. Alan Grant's emotional journey in Jurassic World. And Dr. Grant didn't even run the park, he was just a semi-notable archeologist!  Similarly, is there a more archetypal male movie character than the guy-who-works-too-much-and-takes-a-whole-movie-to-learn-that-family-is-what-counts? The sheer fact that a woman gets to have that discovery is remarkable in and of itself.  

And then the wheel of sexism spins again, and I am left to wonder if female characters only get to be leads when they are etched into male grooves? This is one of the biggest questions of female narratives and frankly, Jurassic World is hardly worthy of it. Instead, here are the:

Sexism Stats

          -The four main characters: Owen, Claire, Zach, and Gray, embody the classic film 3:1 ratio of males to females.

           -The choice to make the two children, Zach and Gray, two boys seems inevitable. Because Jurassic Park's kids were a girl and a boy and Jurassic World needed to make a different choice so the movies weren't exactly the same. But having two girls as sisters would be ridiculous, right?

         -Karen, Zach and Gray's mother, openly weeps when she finds out that her sons aren't with her aunt. If it weren't for the boardroom behind her, she would be the perfect hysterical woman/mother. 

           -Zara, Claire's high-powered, model-esque assistant, endures the ultimate punishment for not keeping track of Zach and Gray by *spoiler alert* getting eaten by a bird who gets eaten by the mammoth water-dinosaur. All this for a woman who was asked to babysit two kids when I'm guessing that wasn't really in the job description.

           -While Zara, Zach and Gray's mother; Claire's right hand woman; and Zach's girlfriend are side characters with distinct voices and purpose, the subplots, the rest of the park, and the speaking roles are dominated by men. Besides Owen, Zach, and Gray we have: The dinosaur feeder? Male. Owen's dinosaur trainer friend? Male. The security guard who gets eaten? Male. The army guy who wants to take the velociraptors? Male. The army guy's assistant? Male. The guy own owns the park?  Male. The guy who runs the lab that created the dinosaur? Male. The other control room operator? Male. The guy who ran the gyro sphere attraction? Male. The guy who is in charge of animal control? Male. The security guard with the bloody hand who warns Claire to escape? Male. The boys also have a dad. He is Male.
(I'm not counting a few computer voices.) 

Total ratio of people I can remember (and memory is faulty) in the film who spoke: 15:5 male to female. Which, hey, look! It's the perfect 3:1 male to female ratio of all films. So it's clear that out of those female role parts which were determinedly set out for women, there wasn't much room for the  daily operations of the park.

But all of this sexism, again, I really didn't see it until after the movie. I was so primed to be pumped about the dinosaurs, I so wanted to have a good time, that my critical eyes grew cataracts. Because Claire didn't have a random scene where she stripped to her bra (Star Trek), or was filmed in a slow pan from her feet to her head while a man described an expensive car (Transformers 3), or whispered silky innuendos into Owen's ear while wearing a barely-there ball gown (every James Bond), I felt Jurassic World was doing great female character work. 

But now, with distance, I see that my standards for summer movie blockbusters are so low, that even a stiff, non-life-force-esque, woman masquerading in the title of "high-powered executive" seems like an amazing role for a female protagonist.